I see the term “BFF” tossed around a lot with teenagers. I wish I still had that blind faith that relationships will always last forever. Of course, if you are lucky, some friends will stick around for the rest of your lives. However, more likely than not, the friends you have will evolve like all relationships do. For example, the group of friends you had when you were a kid will be likely different than the ones you meet when you start working. People evolve and so do our friendships. It makes me sad sometimes when friendships end, but now I realize some people come into our lives temporarily to teach us something, and help us grow.
Friendships Evolve as You Evolve
Friends you made when you were in kindergarten might be completely different than those you have now. When you made your first friend, it might just be because you both liked to play dress-up. As you got older, having common interests might be the catalyst for more friendships. However, loyalty and morals might become more important than just similar interests. I think it is absolutely normal for friendships to evolve as you become more sure of who you are as a person. It is through these breakups that we begin to find out what we genuinely want in a friend.
No One is to Blame When a Friendship Ends
As with a breakup of a romantic relationship, it is much easier to place the blame on the other person. Even if one party did something completely to undermine the relationship, it always takes two to tango. I find that for most friendships that didn’t work out, it was simply because our personalities were just too different. There is often no right or wrong in these situations, just whether it worked out or not. Moreover, everyone is shaped by everything that has happened to them in their life. Often, when we step into their shoes, it is easier to understand their perspective. Even though we might not share their viewpoint, it doesn’t mean it is not valid, it is just different.
Wishing Them Well
Friendships often don’t work out and it is awkward when you bump into them randomly. However, even though a person may not be in my life, I choose to wish them well from afar. For sure, there is often bitterness and loathing towards certain past friends. Yet, over time, I would rather choose to relinquish the good memories that we had together then continue to think badly of them. Like I said previously, there isn’t a right or wrong when it comes to relationships. It just didn’t work out, and that is it. Of course, this takes time, but hopefully, one day, you can see that it just wasn’t meant to be.