The B+ Life (a.k.a., Achieving Balance)

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In one of my previous blogposts, I mentioned a concept I called the “B+ Life.” I got a few comments about the idea and decided to do an entire blogpost. Basically, I equate the “B+ Life” as one where you feel balanced and content. Hopefully, it will also make you happier overall.

Perfection Doesn’t Always Equate to Happiness

When I was younger, I was constantly seeking perfection in all aspects of my life. In school, I wanted to get straight “A’s.” In relationships, I always wanted to be the best daughter, best friend, and the list goes on. I often equated happiness with perfection.  Of course, sometimes, perfectionism does lead to happiness. The A+ you got through studying for days certainly brought you great joy. However, I have found that seeking perfection all the time and in all aspects of my life, didn’t always make me happy. It just made me feel stressed. That is why I think it is important to pick and choose where you seek perfection. There are some things that are just not worth the stress and this can be different for each person. Ultimately, I feel life balance is a choice and something you have re-assess continuously.

It Doesn’t Mean Your Lazy

I used to think that not living life as an honour student meant that I was lazy.  However, I have learnt that you can’t always push hard in one area of your life without undermining another.  I often find that when I focus too much on work, I tend to undermine my health and my relationship with my close ones.  So it may seem lazy to not work those extra hours at work, but it means that you have worked hard on your personal life.  I have learned that there is no price you can put on your health and the relationships you hold dear to your heart.  Plus, a B+ job means you are doing a good job, and remember, an A is always within reach when you are up for it.

Pretend You Didn’t Read Any of This

As many people already know, balance is much easier to talk about than actually achieve. Ironically, it is just as easy to become obsessive over trying to find the “perfect” balance. To be honest, over the years, I have found the game of life is sometimes crystal clear and other times completely elusive. I guess, ultimately, it is the attempt that is important. There is no way we can get it right all the time. So I think I feel the same way about the B+ life, to seek is to find, right?

If anyone made any sense of what I writing about or have reached the end of this blogpost, thank you so much!

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5 Self-Esteem Boosters

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They say “Fake It Till You Make It,” but sometimes no matter what you do, you can’t seem to bury the insecurity you feel deep inside.  Everyone has those days where you just don’t feel great about yourself and no matter how wonderful everyone says you are, it doesn’t help.  I truly believe that everyone has something to offer, but it is just difficult to see it when you get engulfed in a whirlwind of negativity.  Here are a few strategies I use when I need a little boost of self-esteem.

No one is spending a lot of time thinking about you

Everyone likes to feel important.  However, more often than not, most people spend very little time thinking about each other.  That comment about your work maybe took up 1% of their entire day.  Moreover, sometimes these comments are so offhanded that the person making them have no idea how it could affect the other person.  Yet, we could spend hours ruminating about how we are such a loser.  Take these comments into consideration, but don’t let them engulf your entire world because it probably didn’t consume much of theirs.

“Comparison is the thief of joy” — Theodore Roosevelt

Of course, comparison can be motivating.  However, more often than not, it can slowly wear away at one’s self-esteem.  For example, you find out your friend is getting married, but you are still single.  You feel happy for her or him, but can’t help feeling sad for yourself.  It is fine to compare, but making your life goal to be like another person is self-defeating because we are so different to begin with.  Moreover, we always tend to think someone else’s life is more perfect than it really is.  I know it is hard, but when you stop comparing, and look inward at what you do have, there is always lots to be grateful for.

Mistakes are a chance for growth

Criticism of any kind often affects a person’s self-esteem.  No one likes to be told that they are not as good as they think they think are.  Unless it is criticism that has absolutely no basis, more often than not, criticism is a chance to improve yourself.  Instead of looking at each mistake as dent on your self-esteem, think of it as a stepping stone to becoming even stronger in the future.  It is hard at first, but after a while, it becomes easier to take criticism in stride.  Obviously, if you are making the same mistake over and over again, you might want to reassess things.

Do something that you know boosts your self-esteem

Sometimes when you feel your self-esteem is beat, do things that make you feel good about yourself.  This might be obvious, but we often forget that we have many facets.  Instead of just focusing on the area in your life which make you feel not so great about yourself, do something that does.  For me, I usually go take a walk around the block.  It is something that I can accomplish and I feel better mentally and physically.  For me, working on this blog also makes be feel content and motivated.  Everyone has their own thing, you just have to figure out what it is.

Live the “B+” life

Living up to this vision of “your perfect self” is exhausting.  sometimes let yourself go, do a bit of self-loathing.  It is okay.

I am not good at cooking.  

I can’t even get my finances in order.

It is all a part of being human.  No one is perfect, whatever that truly means.  I call it “living the B+ life.”  Getting a “B+” on a report card is a good grade, but we often think it is not enough.  Give yourself a break sometimes.  Being an “A+” person is super exhausting and not always the “funnest.”  You are doing awesome already!

What are your some of your self-esteem boosters?

5 Ways to Find Balance in Your Life

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As we get older, it seems like life becomes a balancing act.  We have to go to work, but still have to find time to wash the laundry and figure out what to have for dinner.  Furthermore, we also have to figure out how effectively to divide our time with our partner, family, and friends.  Just writing about this, gives me a bit of headache.  I mean, let’s me honest, “adulting” is often not one of the “funnest” things in life.  In this blogpost, I thought I would write about some strategies I use to cope.

Look at the Big Picture (a.k.a Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff)

When I have a problem, I often blow it out of proportion.  The world is coming to an end! Sometimes, I become the biggest drama queen in my own drama series.  When this happens, I try to remind myself that my life is minuscule in the world.  Of course, there are big problems that effect us, but most of the time, I find it is way too easy to sweat the small stuff.  It is ok that the laundry doesn’t get done today and today’s dinner wasn’t some culinary masterpiece.  I mean, gosh, take-out pizza is so satisfying sometimes.  I always hear about how we should pick our battles in life and I feel that totally applies to finding balance in our life as well.

Prioritize What is Important in Your Life

As I mentioned in my last blogpost, I find it important to differentiate between good stress and bad stress.  To me, bad stress is draining, overwhelming, and brings you down.  To stop bad stress from taking over my life, I find prioritizing really important.  I try to figure out what is important to me and what I want from my life.  When I feel that certain situations start to overwhelm me, I try to decide if it is important enough for me to be embroiled in them.  This could mean saying no sometimes or adjusting my life to in way that will no longer makes it as stressful.  We often forget that we always have a choice in how we want to live our life and how we respond to things.  Don’t let others take over the driver’s seat.

It’ll be Okay

I think I have seen some form of this phrase on multiple slogan tees and banners.  There is good reason, because it is most likely true barring some life-threatening situations.  In fact, my dentist just said it to me yesterday when I sighed after he said I might have to redo my dental bridge.  He said, “You know it’ll be ok, right?”  It is not the first time he has said that to me, and of course, he is right.  I mean, in the great scheme of things, it is really just dental work.  Even if life sometimes doesn’t turn out like how you want to, it’ll most likely still be ok.

You Can’t Have it All, All the Time

I know there will be some people that completely disagree with me.  I mean, I think it is possible to have it all.  Everyone’s perspective on “having it all” is different.  However, I think sometimes our quest to follow our dreams hinders us from valuing some of things we do possess.  We get so obsessed with having the perfect job, the perfect family, and personal success, that we forget to “smell the roses.”  I mean, you might already have it all really, you just didn’t know.

Being Slightly Unbalanced is Not Necessarily a Bad Thing

Sometimes, I feel like everyone is in search of balance.  Look at all the yoga and meditation classes that are popping up everywhere.  I just think that sometimes, it’s okay to feel a little unbalanced because the constant quest to be “zen” is stress in itself.   Sometimes, a bit of stress is motivating and helpful to our mental health.  Can you imagine if you are always relaxed and suddenly something really stressful happens to you?  You would have absolutely no idea how to deal with it.  Do that scary presentation sometimes, it might make you less stressed out in the long run.

How do you try to maintain balance in your life?

Stressed About Being Stressed?

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Yes!  I am going to be one of those beauty bloggers who is going to blog about other topics.  I hope that doesn’t upset anyone.  I will continue blogging about beauty because it is my passion and my form of escapism.  However, I want to talk about other topics that I am also passionate about because honestly, I am running out of beauty products to talk about.

They say one of the best things about growing older is that you become more confident, wise, and independent.  Although, given the chance again, I would love to be young again.  Imagine being able to play volleyball for hours and not be hurting the next day!  I don’t know how much “wiser” I have become over the years, but I have found that I have gotten better at coping with stress though.

Here are a few strategies that have helped me have a more healthy outlook on stress.  These strategies are not fool-proof by any means, but they have guided me through many difficult times in my life.

Differentiate Between Healthy and Not Healthy Stress

When it comes to stress, it is not something that can be easily measured like your body temperature.  Plus, what is healthy stress anyway?  In my mind, I feel that healthy stress is a result of working towards something you want to accomplish.  Something that brings you joy.  For example, even though it stresses me to find time to blog outside of work, I find such joy in the blogging process that I find the stress motivating.

In contrast, I feel that bad stress brings you down, doesn’t motivate you, and just makes you feel overwhelmed.  Of course, there will always be stress that is unwanted, but necessary.  For example, you might not want to attend a family gathering where you might have to socialize with relatives that might not be your favourite people.  Even though you might not want to be there, it is important you show up because your parents want you there and family is important.

So when does it become bad stress then?  I think it becomes unhealthy when you feel overwhelmed.  I usually just end up crying.  For me, it could be taking on too much at work because I felt I needed to impress my boss.  It could be saying yes to too many events.  I’m sure everyone knows that feeling of being worn down and not looking forward to the day.  I have learned that over the years, it is important to pay attention to these warning signs before you have a complete meltdown and your mental and physical  health deteriorate.

Determine What is Your Idea of Balance

Over the years, I have found that life balance is hard, but I think I have gotten better at it.  Like anything in life, it takes work.  It is important to stop down periodically and take a quick assessment of everything in your life.  Then, determine which items to keep and drop so that the scale doesn’t tip too much to one side.  Take a close look at those unhealthy stressors and decide which ones to keep or manage better so that they become healthier.  For example, Christmas often is a stressful time for me as there are so many events to show up too.  I usually just have to sit down and prioritize those that I just have to attend.  Then, reconsider the maybes and decide which ones I feel will bring me joy.

What are your ways to deal with stress?  I’d love to know.  I have so much more I want to write about this topic so watch out for more posts if you are interested.  If you love my beauty posts, watch out for my next post as well.  Thanks for reading!